Michael Wagener. German-born producer and engineer. Worked with Skid Row, Motely Crue and similar acts. Older brother of suspect Mets closer Billy Wagener. Grandson of Hans Wagener, inventor of the umlaut.

Rod Stewart. Singer. Much requested addition to blog. Rock star turned lounge act. Future spouse yet to be conceived.

Masi Oka.* Actor. Time magazine whiz kid. Reported I.Q. of 180 (same as cast of "Carpoolers.") Authored paper stating sex with a man is by definition a hate crime.

Michael Cimino. Director. Writer. Currently in pre-production of a feminist version of "The Vagina Monologues."

Mathew (or Gunnar) Nelson. Musician. Singer. `90s pop idol. One half of the group Nelson. Son of teen idol Ricky, later Rick, Nelson. Grandson of Ozzie and Harriet Nelson. Toured with Scissor Sisters

The New T-shirts Are in and Holy Crap are They Nice!!!!

Order one today and I guarantee delivery by Christmas, 2008 at NO EXTRA charge. Still a bargain at $15, including shipping, handling, blessing, restocking, etc.

Tom Cochrane. Canadian singer/songwriter whose hit "Life is a Highway" was remade by Rascal Flatts for animated movie "Cars." Seen here striking strike-breaking Ellen's "let's dance" pose.

Bret Michaels. Musician. Singer. Reality TV star. Movie maker. Claims (falsely) to have started the trucker wallet look among lesbians.

Byron York. Journalist. Conservative columnist. Claims cutting own hair is an act of rebellion against the bourgeois.

José Pablo Feinman. Thinker. Party-goer. Wants to change the Argentina flag by applying a tied hanky in the middle.

Ron Reagan.* Left-leaning son of famous right-leaning American politician. Political analyst. Commentator. Writer. Former dancer. Nancy's boy.

Mick Hucknall. Singer. Leader of 1980s pop sensation Simply Red. Recently announced band would break up after it finished touring in 2009, graciously giving all a chance to see them and try to remember who they are.

Brian Setzer. Singer. Songwriter. Guitarist. Band leader. Teaches women's self defense at Hayward, CA, YWCA.

Drew Carey. Comic. Sit com star. Game show host. Since blowing out knee in flag football tournament, spends most of weekend under the hood of brand new Dodge Magnum.

Mick Garris. Writer. Director. Works in horror field and frequently collaborates with Stephen King. Rescues cats and self-published poet.

Michael Flatley. Dancer. Flutist. Chicago native who popularized Irish step dancing in America, replacing pub fighting as number one Irish export.

Don Henley. Singer. Songwriter. Musician. Moral compass for four staggeringly rich middle aged white guys. Current work available exclusively at Wal-Mart. Sworn enemy of someone named Mojo Nixon.

Dutch Boy. Painter. Handy person. Set worker on Ellen DeGeneres's show until WGA strike (refused to cross line).

Ron Jaworski. Sportscaster. Former Philadelphia Eagles quarterback. General Manager of Sisters nightclub.

Mark Wallinger. British artist. 2007 Turner prize winner. Every holiday season for the past 17 years, Wallinger and partner send homemade jams to family and friends.

Neil Finn. Singer. Songwriter. Mullet-y leader of New Zealand pop band Crowded House.

Spike Feresten. Writer. Late night host of seldom watched talk show who, unlike his peer in similar position, is a highly regarded writer and not a scab.

James Brown. Singer. Songwriter. Band leader. Former hardest working man in show business. Founding father of funk. Inspiration for Al Sharpton's former `do. Uncanny resemblance to my son's fifth grade teacher, Miss Reed.

Roger Waters. Musician. Member of classic rock radio staple Pink Floyd. Children's librarian.

Joe Piscopo. Comic. Impersonator. Former SNL cast member who Jimmy Fallon is apparently modeling his career on.

Robert Pollard (background). Singer. Elementary school teacher turned extremely prolific songwriter as leader of indie band Guided by Voices.

Dave Foley (with former "News Radio" co-star Maura Tierney). One of the less sexually ambiguous members of "Kids in the Hall."

John Davidson. TV game show host. Former pretty boy. Dude, what happened?

Prince. Musician. Singer/songwriter. Generally acknowledged to be a genius with a resemblance to a young Diahann Carroll

Contest!

We have our second winner in our submission contest, and it's Georgia Harper of Australia. Your FREE shirt is on its way, Georgia! She sent in the blog-favorite picture of "I pulled a gun on a Beatle and a Ramone!" (allegedly/reportedly/it's been rumored) Phil Spector. Next up are three more favorites: writer Chuck Klosterman, critic Roger Ebert and singer-songwriter Smokey Robinson! They're pictured below and, as usual, the poll is on the left. Thank you very much for participating in these polls and sending in all these pictures. Keith

Our three contestants!

(left) Chuck Klosterman.

Roger Ebert

Smokey Robinson.

Bruce Jenner. In some cases, it has to be just the right photo...

...In other cases, it is, I admit, a little unfair... the result of an unfortunate hairstyle or fashion of a certain era...

...other times, it may be that it's a conscious effort by the person to look androgynous or just plain weird...

...or it could even be a role the person is playing that I'm unaware of...

...or (and this very much pains me to admit), a stretch. Strange looking, sure, a few comments have noted about some on the site. But not an old lesbian...

...then there's Bruce Jenner. In photo after photo, pose after pose... with family... in a role... giving a speech... dressed for a night out at My Sister's Room in Atlanta... he never fails to deliver....

Bruce Jenner. A man who truly looks like an old lesbian.

Morten Andersen. Football player. Ageless place kicker. Guard in women's prison.

Facial Hair Edition

Captain Kangaroo. Children's television host with apparent military background.

Harlan Ellison. Writer. Crazy person.

Gary LeVox. Lead singer of Rascal Flatts. Manager of Bass Outlet Store, Brattleboro, Vermont.

Peter Criss. Musician. Drummer in bottom-feeding glam rock group. Collector of cat memorabilia.

Peter Noone. Singer. Leader (Herman) of Herman's Hermits, stowaways of the British Invasion.

Peter Sellars. Avante garde (or similar) theater director. Currently working on production of "Richard III" with cast on Segways.

Roger Ebert. Pulitzer prize winning columnist and film critic. Screenwriter whose films include "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" and "Kangaroo Jack" (uncredited).

Thurston Moore. * Musician. Singer. Easily the tallest member of influential alternative New York City-based band Sonic Youth.

David Coverdale. Singer with Deep Purple and later Whitesnake (not to be confused with the more incendiary and similarly named and musically inclined group of the same era, Great White).

Walter Mercado. Puerto Rican-born psychic and television personality who bears resemblance to a former first lady.

Craig Williams. Australian jockey. Psychiatric nurse.