Sumner Redstone. Former movie theater owner (back when they had piano players) with unlikely Gatsby-esque name. Maiden great aunt who's always two brandies away from blurting out, "I fucked Eleanor Roosevelt."

tomboyish lesbians

Benjamin MacKenzie. Actor. Equipment manager for Phoenix Hellraisers.

Kim Vo. Hairdresser. No. Seriously.

Men who look like youngish lesbians.

Jack Osbourne. Offspring of drug-addled rock and television footnotes, Ozzy and Sharon.

Encore edition

Paul McCartney (pictured here in Tel Aviv). Oy.

Martin Short.* Comic actor. Writer. General counsel for Montreal LGBT organization.

Encore/Emmy edition

Steven Cojocaru. Fashion designer. Seriously. Bears strong resemblence to offspring of sixties duo..