Claude Le Roy. Soccer coach (Oman national team) turned aging soccer mom who frequently points out that, unlike partner, has never missed a game.

Robben Ford. Blues and jazz fusion guitarist (which I think means the songs are long). Claims to have given up sex in the late `70s for spiritual reasons and lack of a partner.

man who looks like young lesbian

Kalan Porter. Canadian. Singer. "Okay, um. So I'm gonna move to LA, get a job PA-ing on `Ellen,' hand her my tape and see what happens from there."

Mick Ralphs. Musician. Guitarist. One of the boys until, of course, Ralphs started looking like an old lesbian.

Ermete Realacci. Italian politician. Dead ringer for my babysitter in Uniondale, New York, Lucretia.